so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He called his prostate his "boner button".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
