You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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