Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
