thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
