Your tits are I can't wait for
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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