He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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