Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Bring me that man meat
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
