Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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