Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
