i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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