i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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