we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
