do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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