Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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