I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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