HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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