I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
