shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
try to milk me bitch
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
