Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
