normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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