I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
