And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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