Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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