I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
