You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize