You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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