...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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