There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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