lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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