can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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