we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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