I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
