Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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