Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld

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  (407): You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld http://tfl.nu/gdg6
  Replies (51) Good night (3688) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill

  (970): View more from Colorado

  did you ask her what wine to pair it with?

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  (305): gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill (970): did you ask her what wine to pair it with? http://tfl.nu/3bdr
  Replies (7) Good night (5534) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day

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  (802): I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day http://tfl.nu/wkei
  Replies (13) Good night (4329) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina

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  (504): it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina http://tfl.nu/k8v5
  Replies (16) Good night (808) Bad night (8294)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.

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  (502): She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor. http://tfl.nu/3ap9
  Replies (10) Good night (4919) Bad night (1563)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

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  (510): Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay http://tfl.nu/s2rn
  Replies (65) Good night (20998) Bad night (2081)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine

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  (214): I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine http://tfl.nu/8nsa
  Replies (5) Good night (1807) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.

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  (705): Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over. http://tfl.nu/0oyy
  Replies (5) Good night (2111) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (481): View more from

  I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW

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  (481): I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW http://tfl.nu/doc5
  Replies (8) Good night (2126) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'll always be here to give you immoral support.

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  (678): I'll always be here to give you immoral support. http://tfl.nu/ss89
  Replies (6) Good night (2847) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.

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  (512): Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person. http://tfl.nu/kj3e
  Replies (5) Good night (2510) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.

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  (724): NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside. http://tfl.nu/mev5
  Replies (3) Good night (712) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."

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  (202): Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis. (202): Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery." http://tfl.nu/nxhj
  Replies (5) Good night (1274) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  ITS ORAL SEX CAROL

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  (651): My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means (651): ITS ORAL SEX CAROL http://tfl.nu/ccj7
  Replies (7) Good night (1350) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  On my way

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  (317): it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone. (1-317): On my way http://tfl.nu/kjt4
  Replies (5) Good night (1076) Bad night (254)

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