Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Non-Jews are for practice

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  (617): Non-Jews are for practice http://tfl.nu/ikoa
  Replies (27) Good night (1253) Bad night (625)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.

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  (215): he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out. http://tfl.nu/lwob
  Replies (15) Good night (954) Bad night (3472)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.

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  (732): soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm. http://tfl.nu/dqxm
  Replies (12) Good night (4389) Bad night (815)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.

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  (301): you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off. http://tfl.nu/9btz
  Replies (26) Good night (6324) Bad night (1973)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate

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  (512): I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate http://tfl.nu/79c0
  Replies (7) Good night (3293) Bad night (920)
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  (562): View more from California

  When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.

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  (562): When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid. http://tfl.nu/iodi
  Replies (5) Good night (1321) Bad night (706)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome

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  (+44): Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome http://tfl.nu/l1fy
  Replies (8) Good night (1097) Bad night (485)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.

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  (304): I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life. http://tfl.nu/wtpe
  Replies (6) Good night (695) Bad night (1110)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again

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  (773): Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again http://tfl.nu/5np3
  Replies (2) Good night (772) Bad night (380)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp

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  (608): there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp http://tfl.nu/655k
  Replies (5) Good night (395) Bad night (608)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive

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  (406): I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive http://tfl.nu/6hck
  Replies (3) Good night (1243) Bad night (383)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.

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  (908): We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe. http://tfl.nu/0uet
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (265)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it

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  (507): Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it http://tfl.nu/9eeg
  Replies (0) Good night (608) Bad night (273)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?

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  (848): How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window? http://tfl.nu/f8ev
  Replies (1) Good night (210) Bad night (435)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.

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  (603): At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great. http://tfl.nu/qakx
  Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (172)

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