sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize