I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
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I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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