did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
