dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
