What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
