Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
