summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
