So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
