I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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