this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
