the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
