He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
