Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i came on her dog
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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