forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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