he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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