It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
