If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
