I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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