i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him