Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?