is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
