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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.

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• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (765): View more from Indiana

  He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Not even marginally surprised

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?

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• (650): View more from California

  No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job

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