Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?

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(913): end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket? http://tfl.nu/fo6s

Replies (5) Good night (922) Bad night (760)
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(850): View more from Florida

Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

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(850): Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos. http://tfl.nu/15bf

Replies (74) Good night (17822) Bad night (1572)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card

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(832): What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card http://tfl.nu/62j9

Replies (44) Good night (1065) Bad night (4888)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were

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(503): Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were http://tfl.nu/3ofv

Replies (14) Good night (5890) Bad night (1294)
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(317): View more from Indiana

and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way

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(317): and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way http://tfl.nu/pn6a

Replies (20) Good night (10543) Bad night (1280)
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(214): View more from Texas

You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.

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(214): You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters. http://tfl.nu/nfga

Replies (14) Good night (6163) Bad night (1069)
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(713): View more from Texas

She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.

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(713): She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing. http://tfl.nu/4ei8

Replies (7) Good night (2735) Bad night (835)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.

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(603): I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband. http://tfl.nu/f6ah

Replies (5) Good night (512) Bad night (1619)
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(319): View more from Iowa

You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.

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(319): You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/1rw7

Replies (5) Good night (1327) Bad night (780)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that

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(918): Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that http://tfl.nu/h4ec

Replies (4) Good night (1585) Bad night (721)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?

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(651): Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD? http://tfl.nu/tnlb

Replies (7) Good night (1590) Bad night (364)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"

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(843): Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty" http://tfl.nu/jvva

Replies (1) Good night (1406) Bad night (414)
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(310): View more from California

Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.

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(310): Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me. http://tfl.nu/c54s

Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (460)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man

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(864): Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man http://tfl.nu/sja1

Replies (4) Good night (794) Bad night (314)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...

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(617): I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night... http://tfl.nu/7bup

Replies (9) Good night (572) Bad night (1234)

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