it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
