I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
