apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
