it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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